Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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