i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
