I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
