It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
