i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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