My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
