And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
