I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
