Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
