I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
