Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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