The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
