So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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