I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize