Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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