Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
