...so i touched it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
