Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
