He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
