Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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