i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
