If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
