these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
