So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
