I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
