Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
