I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
