i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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