Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
