I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dick very happy bro
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
