Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
