Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
