remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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