Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
