the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You left your phone here
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