now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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