he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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