ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
