just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize