yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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