is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
did i just pee glitter
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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