Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
