We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
