why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
