well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We need to get me chipped asap
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
