If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
