I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
