just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
