ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
