Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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