Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
