I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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