Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
