Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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