he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
