Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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