My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he shaved USA in his pubs
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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