If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
