And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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