Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
