Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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